Pee Am Ass...

Yes...we all go through it. Once you're born female, you're screwed. Once we reach puberty, our bodies have just set ourselves up for a monthly cycle of bitching and complaining. I mean seriously, i was reading somewhere that stress does not cause PMS but makes it worse somehow. I think when you're PMS-ing, you become completely intolerant to any amount of stress.

And not to mention stupid people.

And another thing i've noticed; i get really clumsy that time of the month...anyone else notice that? Clumsier than usual that is...

Here's an excerpt of something i found on the net..

What are the symptoms of PMS?

PMS often includes both physical and emotional symptoms. Common symptoms are:

• acne
• breast swelling and tenderness
• feeling tired
• having trouble sleeping
• upset stomach, bloating, constipation, or diarrhea
• headache or backache
• appetite changes or food cravings
• joint or muscle pain
• trouble concentrating or remembering
• tension, irritability, mood swings, or crying spells

• anxiety or depression

Enough to make you feel thankful to be male right? I mean seriously, how can we NOT be moody??? With all these things weighing your body...LITERALLY???

And even worse, i find that when i'm PMS-ing (which is synonym with "stressing") i find retail therapy extremely comforting...maybe too much. Maybe at too high a cost (no pun intended). And so, it's not only me who goes on these shopping jaunts, but my credit cards come with me as well (notice the plural on "cards").

And so yesterday, i decided to end the life of one of my plastics. Mind you, it's one that i got for free, pre-approved. I thought what the hell, all it's gonna do is scream at me to be used one day anyway, when i'm at my most vulnerable.

So i went to the bank and was directed to see the person at one of the counters...and was served by a well-dressed, well spoken man:

Man: Morning miss, what can i do for you?

Me: (Took out my empty credit card statement i received a few weeks ago) Yes, i've got a statement here for a credit card i did not activate and planned to use, and now i'd like to cancel it please.

Man: (typing into his computer) But you have our platinum card right?

Me: (*gasp* i have a PLATINUM card????..then it clicked) Oh yeah i do, but that's only a supplementary.

Man: Yes that's right. So, you want to cancel this card?

Me: (*gulp*) Yes i do.

Man: Have you got the credit card with you now?

Me: (rummaging through my bag for my wallet) Here it is.

Man: (proceeded to pick up a pair of very sharp looking scissors) May i cut this card?

Me: (*gulp* again) Yes please (i think i stuttered a little but i'm not sure)

Man: 1) (cuts my heart in 3 little pieces)
2) The not so dramatic version: (cuts the goddamn-life-destroying plastic in 3 satisfying pieces. I hope it burns in eternal plastic hell.)

Me: Thank you

Man: Anything else i can do for you?

Me: (GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE!! PATCH THAT CARD BACK TOGETHER!!!) No thanks.

After that, i went back to the office. With the momentum still going, i called up another bank, and asked to cancel that card as well.

But let's save that story for another day.