Hard Lessons...

Read N's blog today about our friend...reminded me of something.

Last week, as hard as i tried, i was unable to find any meaning, lesson, or even a reason behind the tragedy. All i could comprehend were disbelief, sadness, and utter denial.

All around me people were saying how this incomprehensible event teaches us about the value of life, the reality of our own mortality.

And all i could do was stare at them, thinking that one of these valuable lessons should start dawning or materializing itself in my already too clouded and addled brain.

But none of it did.

So yes, my grief is simple. One could say it's almost textbook.

But recently, there's been an insistent voice trying to tell me something. I can't quite put my finger on it yet. It's like I'm feeling my way in the dark, hands grasping for a right hold at the edge of my consciousness.

Maybe she's finished all that she was put here to accomplish. Maybe she's taught those she was supposed to, learned all she was supposed to.

But it's still sometimes so hard to believe that someone so good could be taken away so quickly...

So yes, like N said, we'll keep forever all the good memories we've shared with her. And we'll continue missing her.

And we'll continue to learn from her.