Hard Lessons...

Read N's blog today about our friend...reminded me of something.

Last week, as hard as i tried, i was unable to find any meaning, lesson, or even a reason behind the tragedy. All i could comprehend were disbelief, sadness, and utter denial.

All around me people were saying how this incomprehensible event teaches us about the value of life, the reality of our own mortality.

And all i could do was stare at them, thinking that one of these valuable lessons should start dawning or materializing itself in my already too clouded and addled brain.

But none of it did.

So yes, my grief is simple. One could say it's almost textbook.

But recently, there's been an insistent voice trying to tell me something. I can't quite put my finger on it yet. It's like I'm feeling my way in the dark, hands grasping for a right hold at the edge of my consciousness.

Maybe she's finished all that she was put here to accomplish. Maybe she's taught those she was supposed to, learned all she was supposed to.

But it's still sometimes so hard to believe that someone so good could be taken away so quickly...

So yes, like N said, we'll keep forever all the good memories we've shared with her. And we'll continue missing her.

And we'll continue to learn from her.

Hasnih Jamaluddin...

9th November 2008, Sunday...


Was when you left us for a better place.

I hope you know what an impact you've made in the lives of everyone who knew you.

How much tears were shed from the thought of you not being there anymore, and how much we'll miss you.

How much it'll hurt even more once we've come to accept the fact that you're gone.

We'll always have you in our hearts. We will always wonder why you were taken from us so soon. And we will always miss your presence with the realization that things are not the same without you. We are not the same without you.

Maybe you were just too good for this world.

May your soul rest in eternal peace.

To Be or Not to Be...asked my tresses...

I had a dream that i was in the shower with my hair in a ponytail. As i was running my hand through my hair to get water through, the ponytail came off in my hand!!

Imagine that you had your hair in a ponytail, and someone takes a pair of scissors and cut it off, just below the hairband level...that was exactly what it was like.

My feelings of absolute horror sort of abated when i glanced in the mirror and realised that i didn't look THAT bad...in fact, i looked pretty good..haha..

Anyway, check this out..

Hair Falling Out
Since hair is commonly associated with power, dreaming of losing hair is often an indicator that we feel like our energy is being drained away. Like tooth loss dreams there is often an accompanying feeling of helplessness that comes with dreams of hair loss. And like tooth loss dreams, hair loss dreams may point to feeling powerless to change a situation. If you dream of losing hair, look at your life and see if there are relationships or situations which are energy drainers.

Hmmm...interesting...can't find anything to interpret the 360 turn in perception though...