Welcome 2008

So here we are again, with the new year just around the corner...literally. And as usual, i always blog about it. What lessons have we learned, what we could do better, what not to do so much of, or at all, bla bla bla..

So what does the new year mean for you?

I think a new year always signifies new beginnings..whatever that may be. It's not the whole numerical calender thingy, but more of a symbolic sort of thing.

Since it's the NEW year, might as well have NEW beginnings right? When else would you have the excuse to justify your sudden need to stop smoking for example, or to be nicer, or whatever.

But anyway, i'm not gonna talk much about it. I think whatever resolutions you have is yours to keep anyway. Whatever you want the new year to bring for you, it's up to you to make that happen.

Let's just have fun welcoming the new year and let's hope that it's a great one :)

Nightmare on ** Street

There i was sleeping soundly and comfortably, only to have it interrupted by a freaky nightmare. Ok, let me see if i can put it in words articulately..

I was where i am and in the dream, i could hear the sound of rushing water from my bathroom. It sounded like someone was filling a pail of water up and then proceeded to pour it on the floor.

I then got a little freaked out (i'm still dreaming here) and got up and knocked on my sis' door. When she opened it, i asked if i could sleep in the room cause i could hear...."the water??" she finished my sentence sympathetically. I said yes and she said sure, i could sleep in her room.

So i got into her bed and she got up and said that she had to do her wash for the morning prayers so i said ok. As i was lying there just about to fall asleep, someone appeared in front of me and held me down!!

I tried to scream for my sis but could only groan pathetically. The freaky thing is, i then saw my sis come out of her bathroom and she was standing behind this lady, just observing this whole spectacle.

I was struggling hard to get out of her grip, still trying to scream and basically woke myself up screaming...

And found myself in my own bed.

So it's fair to say that i had a shit night sleep and still feel a little sleepy now...*sigh*...

Men Don't Live Here Anymore

I was out last night at my usual club spot doing the usual do. At one point in the night, we noticed a girl whom no one knows hanging around the usual area. This girl then progresses to throw herself at DM. And when i say she was throwing herself, i mean throwing herself at him...at fully as she can.

It's fair to say that DM's line of work is bound to attract many many admirers for many reasons. It is up to the guy as to how far he wants to take it right?

So anyway, towards the end of the night, things were looking very cosy between the two. Which is all fine and dandy if he was single. Problem was of course, he's not.

So there we were, the few of us, observing from afar...i think for some of us there was a feeling of almost disbelief mixed with amazement together with the self-satisfaction that the observed were proving old theories correct.

Suddenly a friend of mine said to me.."the saddest thing is that eventhough everyone knows her girlfriend, no one will tell her about it". To be honest, that stopped me in my tracks a little bit. How true. That happened to me.

Someone told me last night that men are never to be trusted, no matter who they are. Men will always be men and they will always be weak. Sometimes you just have to turn a blind eye. What you do is make sure they love you, and put a hundred percent effort into your relationship. What he does outside of that, sometimes you just have no control over.

But can we live like that? Can we really, because we can't get what we really want, settle for second best?

With cynicism like that (sometimes with completely valid reasons), how can we all strive for that fairytale ending??

Stories and more..

Hello all...been a while and so much has happened.

For a start, i did my first costume party a few weeks ago...went as Cat Woman hahaha!! If nothing else, it was funny and i actually get to wear my high-boots in KL!!

Then had my 30th (yikes) birthday party which was awesome!! It was actually a shared party and S celebrated his..uh..i don't think i'll put his age in my blog just in case!!!

And last weekend i went on a road-trip with a couple of my girlies. Although we spent way too much time driving up and back down, the trip itself was actually really cool and we had fun. It's nice to do something different for a change i guess, which breaks the monotony of working and sleeping everyday.

So anyways, things are going pretty ok i guess, with the exception of a few stresses here and there.

My BIG issue is moving slowly but surely although i have had some problems with it..*sigh*...why is it i sometimes feel like i've made progress only to suddenly find myself 2 steps back? It's tiring me out a little to be honest. Maybe that's why i haven't been able to get myself out of this tired feeling...

I wonder if we'll ever get out of the habit of hurting people...

But let's not think about that now. I have 4 more days of leave and need to make the most out of it!! I've posted some pictures from the Penang trip below..enjoysssssss ;)

Emotional 86

originally posted - 18th November 2007

You know how some people are emotionally unavailable? I wonder how that happens. I wonder if people 'contract' emotional unavailability at some point in their lives.

And i wonder if they get over it.

Like the thick layer of pollution that shrouds a city, some people have a block that stops their hearts from feeling completely.

Whatever the reason; past experience, fear, natural tendency; it affects and obstructs human interactions from working as it should.

Maybe i'm getting too philosophical but when it is introduced into consciousness, we have to take stock and figure out what's happening. Has it always been there but we've just been unaware of its existence? Or is it something that crept up on us and managed to get hold during those blissful ignorant stints of our lives?

Ban's off!!!

OMG how long has it been??? Sooooo miss blogging but i can't seem to find the time to sit and pen my thoughts down.

But i discovered (purely by accident) that Blogger is not banned at work anymore yeay!! Not sure if i should speak too soon though as what may happen is that i come in on Friday and get the stupid 403 FORBIDDEN message again!!

Yeah so i should be working but since it's only 20 mins till lunch time...

My status has now been updated to what (sounds like) "sleeveless" hahhaha...you know what i mean.

So anyways, as i was told, i will now be re-acquainted with my bed..hmmm...not sure if that's a good thing or not...

I will definitely (hopefully) be blogging more from now on though..need to write...i miss putting my thoughts in order.

Addiction vs Expectation...

I was watching a tv programme and it was talking about addictions. She said addictions can never end well.

Is this something we already know??

If it is, then why are we all addicts?? Whatever our addiction may be...ciggies, drink, tv, drugs, exercise, someone else...

What will become of us in the end? If we do get over one addiction, chances are we'll just replace it with another..that's sort of the unwritten rule about it all isn't it?

Why is it we that we need a vice to feel better?

On another note, a particularly used saying has been going through my head recently...Familiarity Breeds Contempt..

I've been wondering about this...is this true? Or could it be that expectations inadvertedly increase exponentially the longer you know someone?

Why is it that some people find that they can no longer please others even though on the surface it seems nothing has changed?

Did something change? Did anyone? Or is this just the nature of things? Is it true what they say..everything and everyone in our lives are merely ships that pass each other in the night??

Ponder..

Offsides..

I've been smoking for almost 12 years now and wonder if i will one day quit. In the back of my mind (sometimes!!) there's no question that i would. But i wonder when and i wonder why.

Why is it that knowing how bad something is doesn't stop you from doing it?

Why are (some) people so repressed? Why don't people tell you how they're really feeling instead of pretending that everything's fine? To put up a good front? So that they don't end up in other people's bad books? Then what kind of person are you??

Why are some people born with no options in their lives? But is this really true? Or is this something we tell ourselves based on our already skewed perception on things?

Why are some people so hung up on the most trivial things and just refuse to let go? Can't they see that they are bigger things to worry about? That one little thing will not result in the world coming to an end?

I would like to think that people around me have no qualms about voicing how they feel. I'd like to believe that they are not afraid to tell people that they think something's not going the way it should, or if they're annoyed or pissed off about something.

In a way i expect that from everyone around me. If i can't take critisms then how the hell am i supposed to improve right?

Someone told me once that people generally expect honesty and respect out of a relationship, whatever that may be. If you don't have that then you have nothing to base your relationship or friendship on.

Of course, as we grow older, unfortunately, our actions have more consequence. Maybe that's why people are more repressed as they grow older. Maybe that's why some people would rather bottle everything up in the hope that it'll go away.

Understand one thing, i am not saying you should go round telling everyone how much they suck. I'm talking about those you value, those you feel mean something to you. And this could apply to your partner, friends, family, whatever.

Believe it or not, there's value in being open and honest.

I wish....

I wish there was a manual for us all. I wish there was a book i could buy in the bookstore entitled JM's Life Questions Answered. But then again, i reckon searching for these life answers is half the fun of living. The other half will be finding it.

To top it all off, to complete your life is to live it.

The Four-Eyed Prejudice

It's soooo quiet in the office today. For some weird reason i have an image of an out-of-the-way rural western town with delapidated salons and a lone ranger wondering about in this ghost of a town....

Yes, i'm rambling and my imagination is running crazy wild. I think almost absolute silence tends to do that to you.

Everyone (with the exception of a handful of people) is gone for the Raya break. I know this sounds funny but i kinda enjoy the quiet. It's almost unheard of to be in the office and not have any emails and phone calls (unless you're one of those who come in at weekends). I find that i can focus better with the lack of interruptions, get more work done and more importantly, no stress.

I wonder if that makes me a nerd. What's your idea of a nerd?? (geek, four-eyes, dweeb..whatever you want to call it). A typical picture would be of course, someone who wears those HUGE 80's thick-rimmed glasses (which is too big for him that he has to push them up his nose every 5 seconds or so), wears trousers which the tailor had too much fun with, and..heaven forbid...suspenders.

I guess they also think that PCs are man's greatest creation and Microsoft is God.

So, for "normal" people like us (".." because normal is soooo subjective...if you don't believe me, ask any crazy person if he thinks he's normal...saying that, "crazy" is pretty subjective as well...hmmm...), who like gadgets, love our PS2s and probably can't live without a PC, are we considered nerds??

I've been called a nerd before and apparently i've got nerdy friends cos we have the same interests. Half the time i'm not sure if i should be insulted!! :)

But then again (and i'm being extremely shallow here) if you don't LOOK like a nerd, it's ok right? You can always pretend to be cool to the outside world...haha.

When in Rome...

I fed my friend some cock and bull about the whole "when in Rome" saying when he was complaining bitterly about the smoking ban in the UK when we were out in a pub one day. This earned me such a dirty look it's not even funny!!

Anyway, Nazzy!! Yes i'm back sweetie...just arrived tonight actually.

So it's now 3am and i am WIDE awake for some reason. Hmmm...i wonder if it's jet lag. Hmmm i wonder why they call it JET LAG...but we won't go into that right now.

My trip to the UK was absolutely fantastic. I absolutely loved seeing my friends after such a long time. Although there were a couple of people i wanted to meet but couldn't, all in all it was great.

Although i am feeling very nostalgic now, there wasn't any of that when i was there. It only took me a couple of days and it was almost like i never left. Not that i knew where everything was, it was just easy to get back into how things are there...am i making any sense??

But anyway, remember how you'd just walk for miles and miles? Well yeah, i pretty much did a lot of that. Didn't take as many photos as i'd hope though cause i realize that unless you're out on the countryside or something, the cities in the UK are not actually very picturesque. But i did take a few...

The wedding was beautiful. It was a church wedding, i've never been to one and it was lovely. To be honest, when it got to the vows and "I Do" bits, i got teary!!!! Yeah...emotional at weddings...sigh...!

OOh...i also met THE family. Yup...met his dad, sis, sis' husband and children.

This whole trip has somehow made me think about a lot of things. Work for one. I'm thinking whether or not the job i have right now is where i want to be. Even though i've said that i'd give it a couple of years or so, i wonder if that is the best thing for me to do at the moment.

But again. i won't go into that right now. Lack of sleep and about 15 hours of traveling does wonders to the already overstressed brain.

And the security at the airport!! OMG...massive queues EVERYWHERE, people EVERYWHERE..all toiletries must fit in one little sandwich bag and nothing over 100ml!! And some people even had to go through a scanner thingy for SHOES!!! Yup...chaos everywhere.

Ok peeps, i really should be going to sleep soon or i'll be in bed all day tomorrow and i've got a few things i really have to do tomorrow.

G'night all.

From The Land Over There..

Hihihi!!! Greetings all the way from you-know-where..

How is everyone??

Well, i've been here 3 days-ish now and it's been greeaat!! The weather has been ok (well, at least it hasn't been raining) and there have actually been quite a bit of sunshine.

Funny thing is though, yesterday, most of the tube workers decide to go on a 72 hour strike which resulted in pretty much ALL lines being suspended!! London is in chaos!!! All journeys take double the time and there are thousands of people at the end of the office day waiting for a bus...nightmare!!! Apparently the last time it happened this bad was a year ago. And of course, it happened again whilst i'm here...sod's law i tell you!!!

London is pretty much as i remembered it. Shopping is still great although i haven't actually bought anything yet. For some reason i love looking at things but have not found the yearning to buy them...let's hope this silliness goes soon!!

Walked all the way from the Tower of London to the Eye yesterday and it took me about 2 hours, but we all remember how much we walked whenever we're overseas right...?? Took quite a few photos (wish i could post them up in my Flickr but i brought everything EXCEPT for the thing that connects my camera to the computer!!!) but the weather turned a bit cloudy which disturbed the colours of my photos a bit...oh well.

One thing i have noticed, is that even though everything is still as it is, i find that somehow the magic has gone...for me anyway. I remember a time when i would probably do almost anything to live permanently in the UK...but now...i don't think i would.

Maybe i've been spoilt with the luxuries that we have back home with almost minimal effort. I don't know..i don't think i'm explaining it properly. Perhaps in a few days time, i'll find the right words for it and will blog if i can.

But anyway, i'm off to dinner in a bit. Will write again when i can.

Laters peeps :)

Oh by the way, i forgot to mention...i am actually down with a cold!! Sore throat, cough, runny nose...you name it, i've got it..bummer!!!

Dreams on a Saturday Morning

It's 9.10 am on a Saturday and can't believe i'm awake! More importantly, i'm awake and BLOGGING...YAWWWNNNNN!!!!!

What the hell is happening with this world??

Can't sleep to be honest. Been awake since 8am. Didn't sleep till 3...so 5 hours of sleep on a weekend and i'm rearing to go yeay...NOT!!!

Too much on my mind and too restless to sleep. Even had a shitty sleep. Kept waking up and had really funny dreams which i'll pen down now while they're still semi-fresh in my mind.

1) We were living in a house (as opposed to an apartment) and i was outside. I left the door open by accident and Saha came running out. And it was an absolute nightmare cause even in my dream Saha has never been let out.

So he went running across the porch and out through the gate, into the main road. I was trying to run after him but find that my body simply could not run. I had absolutely no energy and could only watch helplessly as he ran away from me, knowing that i'll never see him again and how much this would so devastate my mum.

2) I left my camera (my baby!) on the couch (again, we were in the same house and for some reason i have a feeling this was the house we lived in years ago, in Taman Tun) and i came downstairs to get it, only to find that the back was open!

Let me try to explain this cause this is one of those weird ones.

The back of my camera was like a cover (imagine a phone cover) and someone had sat on it or something and it came off. It was all exposed and i could see the film (but my camera's digital!!) and whatever else was inside the camera.

I started crying cause i knew my camera was fucked and complained to my mum. Then i tried putting it back on and realized that i was doing it the wrong way round. But anyway, got it done in the end...

SO yeah, there you go. Not very interesting dreams (certainly weird!) but thought i'd write them down for whatever reason.

We all know that dreams are extensions of our subconscious (you don't have to be a psyco-whatever to know that!) and i wonder what mine say about thoughts that i may not want to intentionally acknowledge.

Hmmmmm.......

The Real Story..

Hi peeps, off from work today, on sick leave.

I was warned this morning not to go out and meet up with friends for coffee or something since i'm supposed to be ill..

D'oh...for a start, that's sooo not the reason i took the sick leave today. I took leave because i am actually feeling unwell. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. I took leave because at the moment, work is not important to me....for today anyway. I took leave because i need and want this time to myself to think about what's going on.

My head's so full of thoughts that i sometimes find it difficult to breathe from trying to figure out what to do all at once.

Everyone's tired and everyone's stressed. And everyone has their own way of dealing with their issues.

I don't really talk about mine. Although i was told by my doctor i have to learn to start talking about them or find a better way of dealing with them as my body does not seem to be handling stress very well.

I could've very well go to work today and be all distracted that i don't think about anything but work. But for the past couple of weeks i've found that my emotions are so close to the surface that i cry for no reason at all.

So that's why i need this day off today. For today, i don't want work to be important as it's always is every day of the week. For today i don't want to be like everyone else and be so consumed by work.

So i stay home and blog. I don't talk about my issues but perhaps blogging will help with those brown bottles i keep stuffing into the already overfilled cupboard.

I think everyone's got shit of their own and ultimately it's up to you to deal with yours. Your life is yours to live right? And in this day and age, who has time for anyone else anymore?

International Fireworks Competition

Went to watch the International Fireworks Competition at Putrajaya last weekend and it was awesome!! I find it so satisfying to do different things sometimes and not just curtail my weekend habits to just partying (although to be honest, i did go out straight after :)).





































The 4 lame-o friends!!
I'm not sure if it's because i'm getting old or perhaps my old routine is getting a little...well...old and routined i guess.

I find that i need more elements in my life...more things, more experience. Or maybe it's my day-to-day 9-5 that's giving me this fever. But whatever it is, i'm having fun doing it so i can't complain.

So anyway, went to this fireworks thingy with my lame-o friends. It was actually a little too
short and i think in some ways we felt a little shortchanged to be fair but hey...it was great!













I still find childish delights in seeing the night sky lit up with brilliant displays of colour and grandeur. So if you're thinking of going, go...bring your kids/nieces/nephews whoever...they'll absolutely love it!!

..........

Faced with your own mortality, what do you do??

When Enough Is....??

My sister is now working with my mum, and my stepdad (who's actually supposed to be working as well), now goes for golf whenever he gets invited and sometimes goes for that meeting where he is required.

According to him, he is taking an "early half-retirement". I have no idea that phrase existed but to be fair, it sounds bloody excellent. My mum wants to retire in 2 or 3 years and if posible, she wants my sister and i to run the company for her.

She commented however that i would probably not want to do that because apparently, once you get used to the big corporate life, you can never leave.

Is she right? Is it possible to be stuck in the rat-race and paradoxically, not ever wanting to leave?

Everyone around me is working like a madman. I wonder if the pressure we're succumbing to is making us forget that there are other things we should focus on as well. But how could we possibly focus on anything else when work takes up about 80% of our time and sleep (or the attempts to) take up the other 20%?

What about our friends, family, partners? Have they by default been put in the back-burner?

When my mum told me about her retirement plan, the first thought that came to my mind is that i'll do it in a couple of years. When she told me about the trap corporate put on us, there was this tiny part of me which thought that maybe there was some truth in that.

But was almost immediately replaced by the (relieved) knowledge that i would do anything for my mum...

I think there's nothing worse that thinking you're stuck in a trap and not being able to get out. We are lucky enough in that we have choices. Not only that, we have the opportunity to actually realise those choices should we wish to. All we need is a little courage...

Anyway, found a couple of excellent pictures on the net which i think can depict a person's world if they let it...

1) - letting everything pass you by..

2) - the utter frustration we feel sometimes that we just want to tear our hairs out (sorry, it is a little freaky :))

Holy Matrimony...

So anyway, went to this beautiful wedding (as per post below) and it amazes me that no matter how many weddings i go to, it never fails to make me think about how things are or can be..

You know how people tend to get emotional at weddings? Especially if it involves someone you know? In a way you kind of envy their happiness...their absolute certainty about wanting to spend the rest of their lives with that one person.

It makes me wonder..when you decide to get married to someone, how much about you actually changes? How much of your perspective changes? None at all? Or all of it???

I used to believe that marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper and a ring on your finger. A lifetime of witnessing marriages fall apart sort of reinforced that belief as i grew older.

I do believe that marriage does not (or should not) change how you feel about each other, or your level of commitment to one another. I spoke to a friend not long ago and he told me the difference with being married and not is that it's harder to split up. There's more red-tape and technically you can't just walk away.

Can the beauty of marriages prevail over the doom of the cynics?........

As i grow even older (with my approaching 3-0), i'm starting to see the romance in getting married. People always look so happy at weddings, and i don't mean just the couple. I think the beauty of the day just sort of emanates all round...and the feeling is just so catching...

I think perhaps ultimately there's almost nothing more joyful than seeing two people vowing to love each other for the rest of their days...it just brings out the idealist in you...

The Happy Couple..

The Happy Couple..,
originally uploaded by j_marina.

We went to their wedding registration last Sunday on the 30th. It was a beautiful setting, at the poolside of a very nice hotel just on the outskirts of town.

Congratulations to the deserving couple and may your marriage be blessed with everything you'll ever want :)

My Weekend Getaway...

I really should be sleeping you know...it's like 11.30 pm and i've just (well..not JUST!) come back from a gruelling yoga session, which will result in me walking like i've just given birth tomorrow, and chances are i'll be all sleepy and moody but what the hell...

Anyways, i went to Melaka at the weekend for a quick little break, and it was great!! I think the main appeal was the idea that we were out of KL, which meant no distractions and it was someplace completely new. I guess it's safe to say it was a non-reminder of KL.

Melaka is a quaint little town really with a lot of historic sites to visit. The one bummer though was that the weather was pretty crappy although to be fair, i still managed to take quite a few photos.

(crappy weather!!)

*more pics in Flickr* (can't put any more pics in..was getting an error message...damn it!!)

Although i was told he was being dragged everywhere haha!! Oh well..the price one pays for being a model!!!

But anyway, the photo taking thingy is great i tell you!! It's so much fun just snapping at anything and everything! I've got a wedding this weekend and i can't wait to take more photos.

Of course, i'm looking forward to the wedding too, don't get me wrong. It'll be a beautiful affair i reckon, with the registration taking place at the pool-side of a very nice hotel.

Alright, i'm tired and it's time for bed. Laters :)

For The Sake of The Date....

that i'm writing this blog entry...

"Lame" i hear you say...but hey...better to be lame than...anything else that you're thinking of haha..

Yup, it's 20072007 today :).. gosh...i gained so much pleasure from typing that...yup...i definitely need to get a life!!!

This week has been considerably better than the last few weeks. I can feel myself slowly getting back on the mend from the utterly bizarre and unexplained PMT-like mood i've been in recently.

The funny thing is though, Friday comes and i did the one thing i haven't done in almost 2 years...i overslept!!! And when i say overslept, i mean OVERSLEPT!!! I start work at 8am and there i was, sleeping like there's no tomorrow, and woke up (i could hear birds chirping outside my window) at 8.30 am, to a bright and what seemed to be airy room.

It actually took me a while to gather my bearings as to what was going on...i laid there assimilating the situation...it's already bright, which means the sun's up, which means i don't have to go to work today?? Hey...it's Saturday, which means i can go back to sleep!!

Then all the work i had planned in my head the night before appreared gradually in my mind...if you can imagine having one of those light switches with a knob that controls brightness...then imagine turning that knob slowly to its maximum...that's exactly what happened in my head...

With some curses and swear words that could put a sailor to shame, i jumped out of bed, texted my boss and got ready in absolute record time, only to get stuck in traffic. Why the hell is there traffic at 9.30 in the morning? Don't everyone start work at 9??? WHY IS THERE TRAFFIC???

Anyway, at 10 am i sauntered into the office (trying not to look as harried as i feel) only to find that i just can't seem to get my mind in sync with everything i have planned for the day...sigh...just one of them days i guess.

But anyway, all ok now as it almost 7 and i'm at work blogging haha. Have a good weekend everyone :)

TGI Fridayyyyyyy.....

Yeayyyyy....!!!! The amount of relief i feel is indescribable. It's ridiculous how you live for the weekend. This is what it's all about isn't it? Life sometimes feel like an endless cycle of weekdays/weekends/weekdays/weekends....

Sometimes i wonder if this is all we have to look forward to. I'm not trying to be a kill-joy and all but sometimes...it's a thought that passes through my mind quite often actually. So this is how it's going to be for years and years to come??

You go through Monday to Friday and then come the great relief that is the weekend, then you go through the cycle again, on and on like a broken record??

There must be more to it than this right? I didn't come out of a few years living in a dark hole just so i can live a life that's mindless and cyclical right??

I'm not unhappy, mind you, far from it. There are a lot of things happening in my life that i am thankful and happy about. But i find my day-to-day living sometimes a little...uneventful maybe...a little mindless...with no real fulfillment...not one that i can look back on in 10 years time and be completely satisfied with anyway.

Hmmm...it makes me feel a little detached sometimes. I sometimes find that it has the effect of numbing me a little...from what i'm not too sure. I wonder what would happen to you if you numb a little everyday. Would you end being being heartless? With no emotions, no real feelings?

Sigh, sorry guys, don't mean to put a damper on your Friday. So let's do the monkey (chicken??) dance!! Hahaha!! I luurrvvveeee Fridays and i luurrvvveeee the weekend cause i get to catch up on the sleep that so eludes me during the week.

So have a great weekend all!! :)

Meet The Parents...

The funny story is of course, of the guy i'm going out with meeting my dad for the first time..on a hangover no less!! In hindsight it's fucking hilarious. At the time...it's safe to say that it was a nightmare coming true.

I'm sure this is one of the "don'ts" of meeting the parents that you read about in magazines.

But anyway, the plan this weekend is to meet my other set of parents. The mother and stepfather. Both are cool (and ex-hippies) so i'm not overly worried.

But even so, as i was talking about this to a friend earlier, i'm still a little nervous. I mean obviously he's a nice guy and all (with the exception of the annoying factor yesterday but I WON'T THINK ABOUT IT!!!), but you're still a little worried because ultimately, you want your parents to approve of the guy you're with right?

I laugh when i think back about all the guys my parents had to endure..for the sake of their daughter's happiness.

Just before my ex, i was dating this dude with long (and extremely curly!!) hair, played in a band (plays bass guitar), drinks everyday, swears, smokes, works as a chef and is constantly skint. He was a sweetheart though mind you, and was nice to me, which is the most important thing i think. But my parents' eyes almost came out of their sockets when they first met him.

Then came my ex, buff, bald, heavily tattooed, had facial piercings, plays the drums, and they almost had a heart attack!!! But again, despite everything i found out, he had a good heart i think, and my parents absolutely loved him in the end.

You think back and you laugh, you ask yourself what the hell were you thinking and more often than not, you scoff at your idealistic, juvenile thinking and behaviour. But juvenile or not, rose-tinted glass or not, they were good times. They were bad times, of course, but they were good ones as well.

So i'm learning not to be a cynic. Not to be tainted by things i didn't know existed then. It doesn't matter right? At the end of the day, it is where you are now that counts.

So anyway, back to my parents...i know they have disapproved (countless times) of my actions in the past but the beauty about it all of course, is that they still love you anyway. Unconditional love, which you get from no one other than your parents.

Which is why i suppose, it's important that they approve. I've learned a long time ago to not live under anyone's approval as my life is only mine to live. But this will just complete the little circle that is my life that i am attempting to rebuild. It's taken a while and i know it is no where near finished but everyday helps just that little bit.

So anyway, i'm off to take pictures soon, will hopefully get some great shots and post them up!! :)

Ramble Shame...

I've been sitting here for who knows how long wondering what to write. Not that i'm suddenly out of words, quite the contrary, i just have too much on my mind, too much to say.

So i figured what the hell, start writing and see where it takes me.

So i'll start from yesterday..we all know how we dread the much hated Mondays...Mine was exceptionally bad. The first thing i did was screwed-up. And i mean screwed-up..in my eyes i fucked up big time. When i'm feeling particularly generous towards myself i can tell myself that everyone makes mistakes, we're human after all.

But i also know it was something totally avoidable...

Oh well...i guess we all have to move on one way or another and i'm working towards that now.

So the past 2 days have pretty much been a flurry of activities at work. You know that feeling when all the days seem to be merging? Before long you're actually losing track of days and you come to a stop one day wondering what day of the week you're on?

I have that problem especially with my weekends. I try to think back about my weekend and all i can remember are drunken antics...oh and not to forget the hangovers of course. But even those seem to be merging into a long life of hangover living...sigh..

Damn i'm rambling.

Hmmm..maybe i should stop drinking..haha..let's scrap that idea straight-away...how else am i going to de-stress at weekends??

However, ciggies are at an all-time high (obviously!) at 8 bucks a packet!! What the hell are they trying to do? Kill us all?? (uh...was that a stupid question??)

But seriously, that's cut-throat i tell you. It's enough to make you want to stop smoking..although to be fair, i'm still waiting for that urge to come along..and so far, i'm still waiting.

The next thing you know they'll ban smoking in pubs and stuff like they're doing in Europe..*gasp*horror*!!! Then we'll all have to move to China cause they never ban anything there other than English films...

So anyway...my picture taking hobby is coming along fine. It has had a great rest really, sitting in that bag pretty much ever since i bought it. Soooo want to take pictures but to be honest, i'm finding it a little difficult lately trying to balance all other aspects of my life.

But i can't complain really. Things are working out nicely. And August is coming soon...

Hopefully inside myself i can start afresh then.

Ok peeps, enough rambling for tonight :)

Safety First...

I've been getting quite a few emails about the theft that's been happening nowadays so thought i'd post it up for those who read this.

Be safe people. Like my dad always says (in all of his many lectures), you must be aware of your surroundings at all times. Be careful about where you walk, especially at nights and nowadays, you have to even be careful when you're driving.

My sister had her handbag snatched from her about a month ago and about 2 days later, a friend of mine was telling me how she just about managed to escape the same fate.

I was in a bank not too long ago and an elderly woman came in asking to use the phone to ring the police. Apparently she was in her car and 2 guys on a bike pulled up next to her and literally opened the passenger side door and grabbed her bag!!!

These things are getting worse by the day and unfortunately, the chances of catching anyone are extremely slim.

So please beware....

______________________________________________________

...my friend was robbed last week ....while she was driving !! She withdraw $$ from Public Bank Bangsar...got into her car and she had a friend in the passenger seat with her...she was driving up Jln. Maarof and was waiting amongst traffic because of the traffic lights in front of Bangsar Shopping Centre. Next thing a Malay guy smash her back window in her car...got into the car through the window and grab her handbag and hop onto an awaiting bike and sped off. And this is in broad daylight ...4pm in the presence of everyone! and no one helped her!

____________________________________________

...I had a terrifying experience yesterday evening and I want to share with you. At 8pm yesterday, at the Damansara toll plaza, heading towards the city, I was suddenly "intercepted" by an old dark coloured, ill-mantained 3-series BMW.

The vehicle stopped almost slantwise in front of me. A young, thin Malay man possibly in his 20s alighted from the car with a parang in his hand. As soon as I saw him with a weapon, I sped towards Damansara Utama with the intention of going to the nearest police station. He trailed me violently weaving in and out traffic and waving the parang on one hand asking me to stop.

There is also another man in the passenger seat, (I can't tell his look). They sped off after I made the turn off towards D'sara Utama. Upon reaching the police station, I was calmed down by several policemen, who claimed that this is an attempted car jack and it happened almost everyday in and around D'sara Utama because of the accessibility of roads leading to many areas.

This is also where Dato' Lee Hwa Beng was carjacked 2 months ago. The police also claimed that carjackers would go for less luxury cars today and robbers tend to target people who has withdrawn money from ATM machines. I hope to remind all friends to be more alert and careful while you are on the road, coming out from the banks and even at petrol stations...

Moan, Complain, Whinge and Whine...

I've just had one of the most difficult days at work (please note the subject of this blog so that's all you're gonna get). For one thing, i am the sole person responsible for the system (now we've including the system for Secretaries as well, which we are the sole custodian for), whereas before this, there were always 2 people responsible for it.

And to be honest, it's driving me absolutely insane. It's probably ok if it's the only thing in my job scope but obviously it's not. Not only am i not from an IT background but i now have to deal with our outsourced IT provider and the team consists of a bunch of people who can hardly speak a word of english (their technical competency seem to leave a lot to be desired as well).

So this morning i had the luxury of some pity-me time and sat in the bathroom and cried. Saying that though, i felt a lot better after although for the rest of the day i felt like any little thing could've set me off if i let it.

And you know, i know everyone's feeling the stress and the pressure and i'm no exception but you know sometimes, i just wish things weren't soooo stressful...

I know it's ok and most of the time we just get on with it so i guess all i'm doing really is what the title says...*sigh*....

We're having a unit meeting next week to discuss our work for the year and i'm planning to propose that someone from the unit take this up as well. I really can't do it on my own...not if i'm planning to meet my other objectives as well.

This will kill me and i hate looking like an incompetent idiot. And this is where the root of the problem lies...maybe some of us set too high an expectation on ourselves that even we can't achieve. Maybe the stress we're feeling is not imposed by anyone but us...

And i think letting yourself down is probably the worst feeling...

Ultimately if you let someone else down, you're actually letting yourself down right? You feel guilty/ashamed (whatever) about disappointing that other person but you feel more angry at yourself for doing it...right??

Whatever, whatever, ramblings late at night. I'm done now, feel much better :). Have a great weekend peeps!

I had a Dream....

I made a pact with myself not long ago that i will not sacrifice yoga for work anymore. As it is, it's pretty much the only physical activity i do (other than falling over at the weekend haha) and it's something that i love and find peace and serenity in those 90 minutes.

It's an effort to leave early sometimes (what with work demands and all that) but sometimes (for me on Tuesdays) you just have to say fuck it and leave. It will all still be there tomorrow (no matter how much you will it not to). And to be honest, by the time i get home, i am physically and mentally exhausted and sometimes the last thing i want is to stretch (no pun intended haha) myself even more.

But forcing my arse in gear to head there anyway always comes with benefits. The general well-being i get after a gruelling session of yoga is excellent. The peace of mind and the harmony that your mind is tuned to your body is uncomparable...

And at the last session, i actually accomplished something :). I got up to do a headstand on my own!!! I've been doing the headstand for a while now but always with assistance. I can't for some reason teach my body how to do it on its own. But i did yesterday..well, very nearly anyway. I was told by my yoga instructor that my body is very much ready for the posture, i've just got to get out of the habit of relying on that helping hand.

This is why i love it. Even after having done it for a few years, there are still things to achieve, things to learn. And you can actually track the progress of your body, track its changes, track its strength. And track your ability to do something you've tried but never able to do before.

So to those who are thinking whether or not to pick up yoga, i definitely recommend it. It's the one thing i've stuck to doing consistently (unlike any other aspects of my life, unless you count smoking and drinking).

By the way, this is a headstand (so not me by the way) :)

Monday blues..?? Nope, it's a HANGOVER!!!!

OMG, how much do i feel like crap today??? There i was, having an amazing night drinking vodka and champagne and feeling just fine and dandy. Until the alcohol got the better of me and i stupidly and arrogantly (mind you, to justify myself, it was the alcohol talking!!) took up a challenge to drink what looked like a freaking huge fish bowl filled with champagne...with 9 straws (not too sure what's the significance of 9 but that's soooo not the point here)!!!

To be honest, i don't remember too much about doing it but apparently i guzzled it like a sailor fresh out of sea...and that was the last recollection for the night..

I was found passed out in the toilet and the rest as they say, is history....literally. But i'll fill you in from what S told me. Apparently i was carried out of 21, (thank God only our friends were there) and S had to drive home. We had to stop half-way there cause i threw up in the car and he said at one point, for a split second, he thought i was dead i was that comatosed.

Got to his place and i threw up again in the toilet, this time i managed to puke not only in the toilet but all over my hair as well. He then went downstairs to clean the car up. Came back upstairs, found me passed out on the floor with puke all over myself and proceeded to dump me in the shower and then to bed.

I woke up feeling ok for the first 10 mins until the extent of my debauchery found its way into my physical and mental consciousness. Went for a swim to help clear up my very painful head (and every part of my body) but that only last for about 10 mins as well.

Suffice to say, i was utterly useless yesterday. We were supposed to go shopping and a massage but had to cancel both. S even had to get a take-away for lunch cause i was in no shape to leave his very comfy sofa....apparently his sofa has never experienced so much usage before hahaha!!!

So here i am, Monday morning and i am not experiencing Monday blues but a severe Monday hangover. I will finish up what i need to today and leave early and take Chicky Cooper for a proper wash later this evening....then sleep and hope tomorrow's a better day :)

Stressssssss........sssssss.....

Damn, talk about stress central!!! Everyone in the office is under a massive amount of stress at the moment. You can see it in their faces, the way they talk, the pace at which they walk...you can even feel it as a general vibe around the office!!!

For my department this is due to reasons which can actually be accounted for...crap management from useless managers, slave drivers, and the driving of initiatives after initiatives from those who are under pressure to do so.

Whatever it is, it's changing the work environment. People are tired from lack of sleep (or dreaming about work when do sleep...holy shit...!), edgy and moody from not seeing enough of their loved ones, annoyed and frustrated from having to deal with seemingly incompetent people who make you think how the hell were they contracted to do something this big a job for the company in thr first place.

It's difficult not to get sucked into the whole thing really. Unless you don't really give a shit about where you stand in the organization, you can't help but be pulled into this whirlpool of initiatives and whatever else is being thrown at you.

I guess you just have to be careful it doesn't get you down too much.

I'm off to Star*ucks now for a good dose of very strong caffeine and a stimulating bitch session :)

Tale of the day off...

Morning, morning....it's a glorious morning yeay!!!

Day off today which is heavenly (although it almost feels like i've got a cold coming or something..) but never-you-mind i still say. To be honest, i have tonnes of work still pending but i've had a good week at work and feel like just leaving it all for next week (well...most of it anyway..there's still some reading to catch up on).

So what will i do today...hmmm....

I'm planning to buy my new baby tomorrow which means i'll have to dig into my savings a bit (ooppss...but i'll make up for it i promise!!!), so i've got to go to the bank today. A heavenly massage booked for 1pm yeay!! My body's feeling all tingly just thinking about it.

I had what can probably be counted as one of the best sleeps in the history of mankind. Dreamless and restful. I woke feeling like i couldn't sleep anymore, not the usual "omg is that the time ALREADY??" kinda thing which i usually get in the mornings.

Oooh i've gotta send some clothes for dry-cleaning. I'm telling you people, discovering the joy and convenience of dry-cleaning is like discovering thongs...or colour screen phones...you just can't go back. No more hand-washing crap (although i don't actually do them myself but that's so not my point here). For a small amount of cash you can have your outfits cleaned and pressed to perfection...excellent!! AND all you have to do is drop them off and pick them up again a couple of days later...how great is that???!!!

Had a quick coffee with my ex manager and colleague yesterday and someone suggested that maybe i should try my hand at Marketing. Apparently all you need is the desire to learn and work hard. Which i don't think i have any problems with...hmmm...definitely something to think about i reckon. I am extremely tempted solely on the basis of experiencing something new. After all, what have i got to lose right?

If anything i have everythng to gain...and if i find that it's not for me, i can always change skill group again. Then at least i can say that i've tried it and didn't like it...right?? Oh well..i'll ponder on it and see how it goes.

Alright peeps, time for me to get my day started.

Have a great day people :)

Exes Blues...

There i was, having lunch with my dude when lo' and behold, in walks his EX!!!! OMG!! Talk about stunned into speechlessness!!!

Obviously we've talked about it and knew this day would come, but on Saturday lunch time after you've had a big night and want nothing more than some good ole' caffeine and food to soak up the copious amounts of alcohol you had the night before?? What is the world coming to, i say??

Anyway, if you're talking about awkward situations, this probably tops it all. Look up "awkward" in the Oxford or Cambridge (or even Collins) dictionary and you'll have this situation described... *sigh*....

But anyway, he went to talk to her but i didn't. Maybe i should've but i didn't see the point. What do i say to her? "Hi, how are you? Just having lunch with your ex??...Where's my money??" (yeah she asked to borrow some money with no intention of paying it back...but what the hell..).

I guess although we have thought and talked about it loads, nothing actually compares to it actually happening. And for me, it reminded me of how difficult things can and probably will be. I have to admit that to a certain extent i've sort of left it at the back of mind and probaby even half fooled myself that it's ok and we've gone past all that without actually having to go through it..know what i mean?

After all the difficulty with my ex, i was hoping we didn't have to deal with his as well...damn it. It's just soooo complicated!!

And to be honest, i'm a little bored and tired of the whole thing...i just want everything to be normal, have a normal relationship without having to look over my shoulder or walk on egg shells all the time...

Anyway, just having a moan, i'm off now to pick Chicky Cooper up (baby i've missed you!!!) and to the Curve to meet some friends for some good ole' bitching session!!!

Too Beautiful Not To Share...

This email was forwarded by a friend of mine...

PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

***********************************************************************************

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

***********************************************************************************

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant

************************************************************************************

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Damn it...damn it....DAMMIT!!!

People, guess what i found out at the weekend??????????

My ex may have been cheating on me!!!! DAMMIT!!!!!!!

Let me be clear here. I am probably the last person who should be angry about the fact that he (may have) cheated. But the thing that really gets to me? Is the fact that it was done while we were living together!!!

You know what this means? This means that there i was at the time, completely oblivious, thinking everything's hunky-dory (of course we had our ups and downs but which couple doesn't??) and he was cheating???

Ughh...i hate being made to look like fool...i really do...

Like i said earlier, i have not been an angel either but...well...i have my own justification (which i can't reveal here) but trust me...they are justified!

And here i was feeling all guilty about things and trying my best to minimize hurt wherever i can, most of the time at MY expense and then i find out about this!!

And come to think of it, in my last blog i said that he's now seeing someone? I was thinking about it over the weekend and unless he's miraculously established a proper relationship in a week, he's been cheating on me anyway whilst away!

Again, not my place to be all judgemental and self-righteous about it but what the hell was the whole i-desperately-want-to-get-back-together all about??? And to think of all the tears i shed for thinking i was the cause of so much hurt...

Again i say..damn it...damn it...DAMMIT!!!...

Hahaha the irony of it all i tell you...leaves me wondering where the hell was i when the world decided to change the way it works..

But you know what? I'm actually ok...like i said, i just hate looking like a complete idiot..that little fact does gnaw at me a bit if i let it...but hey...what the hell right?

I was told at the weekend to let it go as it's all in the past now and i agree whole-heartedly. Past is past...i have bigger and better things for the future. We let go of the past and the future opens bright..(or something like that anyway haha).

Closure...

I found out today my ex is in another country....In a great job and possibly seeing someone!!

Why did i think it necessary to blog this? Because in a lot of ways it's very significant to me. How do i feel about it?

Well...a mixture of feelings really. You know that feeling..the day comes when your ex is actually over you...I think it's never a nice thing. Regardless of your current circumstances. I think if you think about it, deep down it's also a blow to the ego. But the ego is something i can handle.

If i'm honest, i feel happy for him. I mean of course, i am also filled with sadness to a cetain degree, and i feel a little wistful...But i think that's normal at the end of a 5-year relationship.

But this was the lid i needed. I can now close this chapter of my life. I believe that everyone is in your life for a reason and for my ex, he was there during my healing process. During the time when i was learning to live again, learning to forgive, and figuring out what the world has to offer after so many years in darkness. And he was there to show me the way.

And i hope that in some ways, i helped him too.

And so my journey continues. But this is what life is all about right? The stumbling blocks that life put there for you to get over is so that you pick yourself up, and start again. This is how we learn.

Time heals everything as they say. And although i am a little sad, i feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I'm seeing someone now (sorta!!) and i really want to see how it goes. It's not easy...anything worth something never is...but i want to see it through..and see where it takes us. I'm more than a little scared and to be honest, a little disillusioned after my last relationship but if you don't put your heart on the line then nothing goes, really.

And here it begins...

A Little Something...

This post actually started on Thursday night and continued on Friday morning...hence the different coloured text.

Finally!!! I have some me time which i don't seem to have much of nowadays (Naz, i got the "me time" thingy from you and i oh-so-love-it!!).

It's about 7 pm now and i think i'm just about done with work. Well...done for the day that is. I don't think there's ever a time when you'll finish work...our famous phrase is "never-ending" (girls...you so know what i mean..this is our gas chamber conversation!!).

But then again if you think about it, if you've got no work then you're pretty much redundant right? Oh well...i'll not dwell too much because everytime i start blogging i digress so much that i completely miss my point.

So i actually have the time (and the energy) to blog for the first time in ages. I think the last time was after the Mount Ledang trip. And mannnn...how all the sh*t that happened after that completely took away all the warm fuzzy feeling that you get after doing something exciting. But i won't go into that now either because i will so go on and on about it.

I'm looking forward to my trip to the UK in September. The best thing for me is that i get to see my friend (in the true sense) Charly, who was there for me the whole time i was there. She was with me through the craziest party times in the history of mankind, when i was working in the bar, and everything in between.

And obviously, i was there too when she was going through phases in her life. And now she's getting married. When she told me, my first reaction was joy. Then came the excitement cause i know i just wouldn't miss it for the world and that was the first thing i told her.

See, i digress. The next best thing for me is a BREAK!! A much needed one at that. I need to be someplace else for a while. So that i can come back hopefully refreshed and very much rejuvenated.

After 2 years (YESTERDAY!!) of working here, i'm beginning to learn so much about the working culture, the culture of the people, the corporate world and in a way, i'm also beginning to learn about the way i work and where i fit into everything. I don't have an answer (or even a rational explanation) about that yet, but at least it's not just an inkling..i have a sort of vague image in my head now.

Again i digress. So yeah, i am so looking forward to my trip although i was told yesterday that all ladies have to wear hats for the wedding.. a HAT!! I'm got an image of old English Ladies wearing ones made of straw with like a bunch of flowers pinned to it...oh and wearing lacy dresses...and clogs...and (heaven forbid) a corsage looking thing.

So yeah whatever, I'm now on the day after, thinking how the hell do i get my mind in the same frame as it was yesterday? Totally impossible obviously. Oh well...i think you guys get my drift yesterday anyway. To sum it up, yes, I am sooooo looking forward to my break.

Ok peeps, it's now Friday morning and i have a meeting at 9am (in about 40 mins) to about 5 (yeay...NOT). And it's gonna be on the review of OD's module (Level 2). I swear, OD's like the driest subject in history. It's good to know and all, but i think the concepts are a little difficult to grasp.

But then it's Friday so i guess it's ok. My vision for this weekend is to get as much zzzzz's as possible. And i'll be watching Spiderman 3 yeay...which so reminds me...i need to get the tickets online NOW!!

Have a great Friday people, and a fantastic weekend! :)

Dilemma of Disenchantments...

Been feeling a little tired lately..not talking about physical tiredness (although that's happening a bit too) but inside i'm tired. I feel a little restless, a little...discontented, perhaps is a better word.

I think a stock take is in order. I think i need to re-evaluate my work situation. Been thinking a lot about going back to care-work. Only problem is, that type of work in this country means struggling to make ends meet...especially for someone who lacks experience or whatever experience culminated was years ago...

*sigh*...working in a big corporation has its perks obviously...and the mad rush to the top usually fills us with enough adrenaline to make an elephant dance. But sometimes, it's hard to see what it's all about...

It's hard to see the point of it all...some say it's the sense of achievement, that satisfaction you get from a job well-done, knowing that you've earned that credit, that respect, from all the sweat and sacrifices that you've had to make.

And although i do have that to gain, i don't have that sense of fulfilment....the sense of satisfaction i get from solving an issue, or completing a difficult task, does not fill me with contentment...

So maybe i do need to take a long hard look. Or maybe all i'm experiencing is prolonged blues...

Mount Ledang

On the 1st and 2nd May, a group of us decided that we had nothing better to do with our days off than climb the 6th most difficult terrained mountain in the country. Sigh...i guess we should've known better... The day itself, started out UNlike any other NORMAL day. We all left the house at 5am in order to make it to Tangkak for breakfast.

We got to the starting point about 9ish and was given a rough guide as to what the hike was about as well as safety tips. We were then given the impossible task of recording every single item that we've packed! (what the...??). Anyway, after all was set and done, we started the hike. Please note that everyone was all smiles when this photo was taken.



The first challenge we encountered was a flight of stairs that literally beat Batu Caves' hands down (i kid you not). With about 5-10 kilos of extra burden on our shoulders, this was no easy feat.



But anyway, i won't go through the whole hike as this would be soooo boring. The hike to the campsite took us about 3 hours and although the terrain wasn't remarkably difficult, we were all a little tired and more than a little sweaty by the time we got there.

A little lunch and an hour and a half or so later, we were off again...this time to the summit and much to everyone's relief, without the big hiking bags. Instead we were told to only bring necessities ie food, water, etc.

The hike to the summit was easily the most challenging thing i've ever done. You are tested to the limits of both your physical and mental endurance. Going through steep climbs, caves, dodgy ladders (have i ever mentioned that i am extremely scared of ladders?? I can jump out of planes, go on a bungee rocket, would loooove to do a bungee jump, no worries, but give me a ladder???...that freaks me out). But anyway, there were also huge rock formations that we had to climb using ropes, which called for courage and strength that you thought you had none of anymore.


(summit photos)

Oh and another thing, i had my first camping experience! I have to admit though, camping is so not as great as the hype that it gets. I think most of us (the girls of course) are scarred for life from the condition of the "toilet" and basically found more peace of mind by peeing in some out-of-the-way bush, even with the looming threat of leeches and whatever other creepy crawlies out there.

4 hours sleep later (for some it's even less!) and a few leaking tents later, we were off again for the hike down. Ooh...AND i saw a leech for the first time in my life! They're kinda like this obscure slimy little thing that looks like a snake under a very powerful shrinking lens.

3 hours later and i have never been so glad to reach civilization (in this case it was the smoking area of the resort) in my life.

To be honest, even with all the challenges that we had to face, and the amount of hiking that actually went in it - we started at about 9.30 am, got to base camp at 1pm, left for the summit at 3pm and got back to base camp at 3am! - about 15 hours in total, it was a totally unforgettable experience.

We had an excellent bunch of people and like it always is, when you put a bunch of people together in a difficult situation with the same goal, they tend to bond with a common tie and that was what happened. I was inundated with calls and text messages from friends up to 3-days later asking me about my back from my fall (another story which we won't go into right now), which i tremendously appreciate :).

We all went home with the worst possible muscle strains on our calves, thighs, knees, ankles, arms and shoulders, but also with a sense of achievement. Yes, we all should be proud of ourselves. Despite all the injuries sustained, the sheer exhaustion and the general feeling that you just can't go on anymore everyone did....kudos to all :)

Those who generally have trouble learning from their mistakes are now in the midst of planning a hike up Mount Kinabalu in November :)

So let it all begin...again... :)